When I think of my friends, and in particular, my women friends, I am reminded of the Biblical story of Naomi and Ruth. It is one of the most moving stories about friendship and loyalty in the face of adversity. The story is that Naomi's husband has died and ten years later, her two sons have also died. She is alone in Moab and must fend for herself and has no real roots  and no long time friends to see her through the kind of loss. As an outsider in an economic system and an alien and widow, she decides to return to her homeland, Bethlehem. They are faced with the same decision: to stay in Moab as single women with the possibility of remarrying or to accompany Naomi on a dangerous journey back to her native place. Naomi tries to convince them both to remain and, Ruth decides to stay and proclaims her love and friendship and commitment to staying with Naomi.

            After the death of my fiancé, a friend appeared in the middle of the night having traveled hours to get to see me once she heard the tragic news.  My women friends appeared one by one, almost as if summoned, and embraced me with their love and warmth. They saved me from a paralyzing depression and gave me a reason to keep going.

            A circle of women friends appeared when my mother died, and helped alleviate the loss and pain.   I felt like I had not only lost my mother, but my best friend, and they showed me that I still had friends and life could go on.

            Studies show that a sense of belonging is extremely important for emotional health and well-being and those who do not have that support do not feel a sense of belonging and are much more likely to suffer from depression.  

            Friends help us through stressful times like losing a job, the death of a loved one, breaking up a relationship, and when not experiencing stress, just improve our health and increase our chances for a longer life. We need community, a close circle of friends, to have fun with, and to cry with. It might be the same friends who cry and laugh with you, and it might be different friends. There are those friends you love to go to a museum with, a baseball game, a certain restaurant, a particular movie, a literary reading, or meet over a cup of coffee. 

             Friends can be both men and women. Women seem to have a particular affinity for cultivating friendships, but I have had many close friendships with men. My family has a massive holiday party each year when we invite over fifty of our friends to sing and celebrate. A close friend of mine just passed away from cancer, and this year at my birthday party, I will pay tribute to our many years of friendship.

            Like Ruth, I am dedicated to my circle of friends, and like Ruth, I remember that passage from the Bible that allows us to follow our friends anywhere they need us to go.

           We support them, love them, laugh and cry with them, and hopefully, we age together in grace and dignity.